Someone is STILL stealing my newspaper.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve moved into a scary netherworld, whether all the stories you hear about how wonderful the suburbs are because of their safety and security is just a lie, a scam. That really the suburbs are filled with cheap people who steal your newspaper.
So no New York Times again this morning, second time this week. We seemed to be doing well the last few weeks, but now my paper thief has returned. Maybe, like in all those Law and Order episodes, what’s happened is that he was in jail for the past few weeks, and has been thereby unable to steal my paper. But now he’s been released, and he needs his Frank Rich fix. I wonder if I can get my local police department to do a search of people who’ve been in jail for just the past month or so, and were recently released, and live in my building. That’s probably a lot of bother.
What’s worse is that they keep stealing the SUNDAY paper, not the weekday. Maybe they’re a big (and deeply ironic) fan of the “Ethicist” in the Sunday magazine. But as much as I hate someone stealing my weekday paper, it’s worse on the weekend because you have to go buy the replacement paper at retail and get all the Sunday sections, even those sections that came in the Saturday paper the day before. So I have to go pay $4 for a paper that I’ve already half-read. And on top of that, the Times will only reimburse me for like $2, which is the prorated value of the Sunday paper.
You would think that this wouldn’t bother me so much, but, well, things apparently bother me a lot. I should talk to someone about that. But, man, there’s nothing worse than throwing on some shorts, getting your coffee, and walking downstairs to get your paper only to find an empty table.
I’ll keep you updated, because I know this is just as important to you.
