It’s just not fair.
As I write this, the northeast is preparing for our second major hurricane hit in the last two years. And if that wasn’t enough, we’ve also had an earthquake and an October blizzard in the past year. None of this is particularly heartening to a guy who lives in a condo surrounded by glass on the eighth story of a building constructed on landfill at the end of a big river.
That’s not the deal. When you live in the northeast, you accept certain tradeoffs, particularly with the weather. As I’ve often said, people that say they love living in a four-season climate really mean that they love the first snowfall of winter, the first week or so of spring, about one week in the summer before it gets too humid, and the two weeks of peak fall foliage. That’s like one good month out of the year. For the rest of the year, we endure lousy weather: too cold in the winter, too rainy in the spring, too hot in the summer, and too grey in the fall once the leaves are gone.
The tell is that our favorite time of year is when the seasons change – we absolutely LOVE that first snowfall, the first warm day of spring, the first beach day, the day the leaves start to turn. Basically, we get sick of our seasons fast, and can’t wait until the fresh novelty of the next one.
But it’s okay. We live with it. We laugh good-naturedly when our California friends call us to“ complain” that they have to put on a light jacket in February because the temperature dipped below 75 degrees. We endure those Facebook posts with pictures of people playing volleyball on the beach while we’re huddled in front of our fireplaces like cavemen.
Why? Because we accept the tradeoffs. We get mostly crappy weather, but at least we don’t have hurricanes. Or earthquakes. Or mudslides. Or any of the other natural disasters that plague other parts of the country. In other words, we take the small everyday inconveniences instead of the big life-threatening catastrophe.
That’s why this is so unfair. WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET HURRICANES. Hurricanes are the tradeoff that people who live in Miami are supposed to make. They get all that beautiful weather all year long, and get to post all their bikini photos on Facebook, and I get to laugh at them when Anderson Cooper is standing in front of their home in a windbreaker. Those people in California? Okay, they get to enjoy 80 degrees and sunny for 350 days a year, but once in a while their homes fall down from earthquakes, burn up in wildfires, or slide into the sea during a rainstorm. That’s the tradeoff: great everyday weather, occasional cataclysm. That’s fair.
None of this makes sense. I’m getting emails from friends in Miami WISHING ME LUCK GETTING THROUGH A HURRICANE. These people live in Hurricane Central, they actually have sports teams and alcoholic drinks NAMED AFTER HURRICANES, and THEY ARE PITYING ME. This is just no good.
So that’s why I’m bitter. It’s like a guy who runs five miles every day and eats nothing but steamed vegetables keeling over with a heart attack at 45. It’s just cruel and wrong. That’s not the deal.
Stay safe, everyone.
