Now that we’ve announced we’re going to be having a baby, friends of ours keep giving us that whole, “oh boy, you don’t know what you’re in for” speech.
Have you ever noticed that? When you don’t have kids, you can’t escape parents who constantly tell you about all the wonderful things you’re missing. Picture after picture posted on Facebook, all those Christmas cards of the happy family, the occasional awkward question about whether you’re ever going to have kids.
But once you announce you’re having a kid, the tune changes. Now, all they want to do is gloat about how miserable you’re going to be. They laugh and laugh like hyenas — “oh, all that nice furniture you bought for you new condo, THAT’S all over,” “enjoy your nights out while you still can,” stuff like that. Like the vampire at your window trying to seduce you into going outside, or the the old joke about the devil:
John arrives at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells John that he has arrived at a moment where the balance between Heaven and Hell is exactly equal. This event allows him the unique opportunity to take a look around at Heaven AND Hell and decide where he wants to spend eternity.
John takes a little stroll around Heaven … nice puffy clouds…people hanging around playing harps…smiling…peaceful. He thinks that looks pretty nice. Could be a good choice. With that he hops in the elevator down to Hell…
The doors open and the devil shows him into a big room….WOW…. What a party! People dancing, drinking up a storm, singing, laughing, having an amazing time. “Now,” he shouts, “THIS is the way to spend eternity!”
He jumps back on the elevator and runs to tell St. Peter that while Heaven is certainly lovely, Hell is simply an awesome party and that is his choice. John jumps back on the elevator and when the doors open he is shocked to see flames shooting everywhere, people screaming with fear and pain, etc….
John quickly runs to find the Devil and says, “What happened? I was just here and it was a giant party.. how could this be?”
“Simple,” replies The Devil .“Before you were a prospect… now you’re a client!”
Essentially, that’s what happens. When you don’t have kids, you’re a prospect — all these parents want you to join the team, so they try to make it as appealing as possible. Then once you sign up, they can let it all hang out. Jackals. Oh, how I hate them.
